Daily Archive

Freud thought there were only two variables important for successful treatment….time and money.  While I agree with those two variables, I think there is more to the story. 

Most importantly, you need to find a counselor, psychologist, psychotherapist who is the best fit for you.  You may have a negative emotional reaction to a psychotherapist, and don’t base your decision just on this.  First, ask yourself if you are responding this way because they told you the truth or that they challenged you to make changes.  If there are other reasons you had this reaction (such as they really don’t seem to have a clue or completely misunderstand you), you may want to find a different psychotherapist.  I even tell my patients that I am probably not the right shrink for everyone, and that if they feel like I am not, then they should feel free to seek treatment from someone else.  Shrinks have personalities and patients have personalities….sometimes, they just don’t work well together.

Be willing to work to overcome your difficulties.  As Milton Erickson said, “You must remember, that all change takes place within the patient.”  Sometimes, even if you are uncertain if suggestions will be effective, you must have a willingness to try the suggestions.  AND, you must be willing to see that you have benefited from suggestions.  Some folk are so negativistic that they say they attempt a suggestion and it, “Made it worse.”  It doesn’t matter what the suggestion is…the response is always the same.  If that’s your response pattern, then you will not succeed in treatment.

Be willing to challenge your shrink.  The most successful patients I worked with were extremely challenging to me.  They were skeptical.  They were defensive.  They were hostile at times.  But in the end, they were able to see the truth.  They were able to accept feedback.  They were willing to try things and believe that their effort might prove beneficial.

Think about your sessions after they are over.  If you don’t do this, you will receive very little benefit.  Psychotherapy has to have enough emotional significance to you that you do not forget everything that took place after the session is over.  Psychotherapy is not just for venting and complaining.  If you use it just for this, you will not find a long-term benefit.  Psychotherapy is for the resolution of emotional difficulties, and this is never easy.  If your treatment is too easy, it’s unlike you will benefit in the long-term.

If you have faith in God, feel free to ask if your shrink believes.  They are often taught to respond with answers such as, “What would this mean to you if I answered one way or the other?”  You have a right to a non-defensive answer to this question, because it is such an important aspect of people’s lives.  If your shrink doesn’t respect the power of the Almighty and you do, then you are unlikely to have a good match.