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What do I mean by that?  The ‘Nonverbal Level.’  What I mean is traumatic experiences that occur before the development of language, or around the time when language is just developing.  People who experience these early traumas, often times medical experiences, tend to develop a wide range of difficulties.  Most notably, difficulty with self-expression.

I’ve talked a little about early traumatic experiences before.  In some ways a person’s emotional development becomes “fixed” or “fixated” at the age at which the trauma occurred.  In may other ways they may fully develop (intellectually, physically, etc…).

I met a fellow professional at a conference a few years ago who shared that she had developed an intense aversion to all kinds of fruits and vegetables after an extrended hospital stay at the age of 2.  There was no conscious memory of this experience.  But her mother told her that she loved fruit and vegetables before going into the hospital, and after being in the hospital would never touch them again.  Now, when I met her, she was 40 years old!  She had never eaten any fruit or vegetables since that time.  And could not do so.  She would immediately gag.

She told me a little about her early medical experiences that she learned from her parents.  I made a slightly unprofessional comment, “I bet you are extremely ‘gaggy.’”  In other words, she has a hypersensitive gag reflex.  She said, “Yes, I always have been.  I can’t eat any fruit or vegetables without gagging.  It’s the texture.”  Now, this was related to the fact of being in the hospital for many months, and having tubes down her throat at this very early age.

Now, many people who have very early traumas (traumatic births, early medical traumas in the first couple years of life, etc…) have extreme difficulty in expressing themselves.  It may be just talking at all that’s a problem.  It may be specific to emotional expression.  Regardless, there is almost always a problem in this area.

So, if you have a child who has to be in the hospital at a very young age, the best I can tell you is be there for them as much as you possibly can.  Provide a great deal of reassurance and physical comfort (hugs, kisses, touch, etc…).  Talk to them.  Be soothing.  You cannot completely erase the traumatic nature of the experience, but you will reduce it draumatically.