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((FOR THE EYES OF A SHRINK ONLY))
Other folks, please read at your own risk. Do I have your interest?
As a shrink, you really need to have several quotes at the ready–quotes possessing wisdom. Folks come to see you for wisdom, believe it or not. This is a piece of wisdom taught to me by my mentor. When folks come to see a shrink, they expect shrinks to have some wisdom. I’ll present some of the gems that I have acquired over the years. These are few and far between. I don’t learn these very often. I quote myself here a couple of times. I hope that’s not too vain. Are you a non-shrink and still reading? Hmmmmm. (Shrink raises one eyebrow, and then looks away while observing non-verbal behavior out of the corner of his eye).
ANGER
“No man is ever made braver through anger, except the one who would never have been brave without anger. It comes, then, not as a help to virtue, but as a substitute for it. And is it not true that if anger were a good, it would come naturally to those who are the most perfect? But the fact is, children, old men, and the sick are most prone to anger, and weakness of any sort is by nature captious.”1
“Be ye angry, and sin not.” (Ephisians 4:26).
“If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase.” (Epictetus).
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” (Chinese Proverb).
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” 2
“Anger is part of being human. You’ll never get to a place where you’re never angry. That doesn’t happen for humans. At times, anger drives us to address things that we would not otherwise. So, it can be a positive motivation at times. You can tell it’s not positive by thinking about whether the other person is put beneath you as a human being. If so, then you are out of line.” — The Country Shrink
SUICIDE
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” (Author unknown)
“Folks who commit suicide make it more likely that their children or relatives will do the same. There is nothing more harmful to family members than for one of the family members to commit suicide. I’ve worked with people who had a family member commit suicide as a child. There are few traumas that are worse.” –The Country Shrink
…. To Be Continued–You didn’t expect me to reveal all of the scant wisdom I have in one post, did you? ….
What, you’re not a shrink and you’re still reading? For shame. For shame. Who woulda thought it?
1 http://praxeology.net/seneca2.htm
2 http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/29885.html
I find that the idea of “Locus of Control” often comes up in treatment. (1)
A person with an Internal locus of control is said to believe that they have control over their own decisions and things that happen in their lives. A person with an external locus of control, believes that their personal decisions and things that happens in life, are determined by external factors (the situation that they find themselves in).
So, very often, in treatment, it is important to establish what things a person has control over, and what things a person does not have control over. I’d say in probably 70 to 80% of the people I see, there are distortions in their notions of control. Sometimes, they feel like they should be able to control everything. Even those situations which we have no control over. Other times, they don’t feel like they have control over anything, including any aspect of themselves.
An exaggerated notion of external locus of control is often associated with depression. An exaggerated notion of internal locus of control is often associated with anxiety and anger. The point is, that there are some things you can control in your life and within yourself, and there are other things that you cannot. As with many things in life, the point is finding the most realistic balance between the two. This is not something that is easily done, and will be a continual balancing act for almost everyone.
Emotions are expressed one way or another. They are either expressed directly, or indirectly. In graduate school, they teach that the cathartic theory of Freud is completely incorrect with respect to anger. In other words, they teach that expressing anger always increases anger problems. While they are right for people who have genuine problems with managing their anger, they are incorrect for people who “over manage” their anger. Some people learn that anger is dangerous, prohibited, wrong, and should not be expressed in any direct way. As I said before, they way that people express their anger is largely learned.
People who overmanage their anger tend to be anxious, and/or experience a number of physical difficulties (pain, headaches, worries, obsessive thoughts, compulsions). One of the roles of anxiety is inhibition. It inhibits aggressive impulses. I have seen a number of people become socially anxious as they begin to manage their anger more appropriately. This social anxiety serves a positive purpose, and that is to inhibit the expression of anger. People may experience several years of social anxiety as they learn different ways to express themselves appropriately. I don’t try to take this away when it occurs, because I recognize the beneficial purpose. That is, inhibiting agression. A person often has to learn how to express themselves in appropriate ways in order to overcome a significant anxiety disorder.
That said, when a person feels anxious, there is often an unconscious anger component. When this component is identified, the person no longer feels anxious. The fact of the matter is, a person cannot feel anxious and angry at the same time. They are incompatible emotions. The idea of cathasis was around before Freud, but I will focus on the the famous case explored by Breuer and Freud…Anna O.
It was eleven years later that Breuer and his assistant, Sigmund Freud, wrote a book on hysteria. In it they explained their theory: Every hysteria is the result of a traumatic experience, one that cannot be integrated into the person’s understanding of the world. The emotions appropriate to the trauma are not expressed in any direct fashion, but do not simply evaporate: They express themselves in behaviors that in a weak, vague way offer a response to the trauma. These symptoms are, in other words, meaningful. When the client can be made aware of the meanings of his or her symptoms (through hypnosis, for example) then the unexpressed emotions are released and so no longer need to express themselves as symptoms. It is analogous to lancing a boil or draining an infection. (1)
Now, what I have found is catharsis only works with repressed emotion. Those emotions that are blocked from awareness. This doesn’t work with people who have insufficient repression (aggressive individuals). This works with individuals who inhibit or block awareness of their emotions. Academic researchers have overgeneralized from research that show that for angry individuals expressing anger…they become more angry and practiced at expressing their anger. However, in my experience, cartharsis applied to emotions that are blocked from awareness through repression….it resolves the symptom.
Most often, people need to learn that it is ok to say “no” and to express that they are angry. This is for people that have learned that anger is unacceptable. Once they learn this, there is often a reduction of anxiety and psychophysiological complaints that take the place of the expression of anger.
(1). Retrieved from wikipedia (http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/freud.html).
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